With an inspired heart...

First, I apologize for going so long without an update on my mom. It's been hard for me to put into words the various emotions I've felt through the past few months and a simple "this is what's going on" type update didn't seem fair. I tend to put up walls and only let a few people in on how my heart is doing and what I'm feeling as a result of all the changes happening. To put it all down on paper (or in a blog) and know that anyone could come across it is not an easy task. My slight perfectionism doesn't help either!

To provide a quick update on her status, mom has had two chemo treatments and is still recovering from her surgery. For the most part, she is back on her feet (when the chemo hasn't knocked her out), but still has a little soreness in her stomach and two chemo ports. She has been very lucky to have minimal side effects from the medicine and even plans to try and work here and there a bit. We have moved past being hopeful that the chemo will treat the remaining cancer to being confident and praying expectantly that her cancer is already gone.

I feel very fortunate to have a mother who is as strong and positive as she is, a father that loves her, his children, and of course, his grandson, and a sister that I can relate to on so many levels (and, I can't forget about my brother-in-law who adds humor whether he's awake or asleep!). Though the past few months have brought challenges and heartache, no day has passed where hope and peace did not dwell. I feel closer to my family than ever before.

That's all for now. My heart has so much more to say, but isn't communicating that to the typing fingers. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Ps- stay tuned. Pictures from Easter with the fam are coming soon. Including my precious nephew and my cousin's sweet, little baby!

With a humbled heart...

My mom will start chemo on March 10. I don't completely understand how it all works, but from what I gather she will receive treatment on the 10, 11, and 17, rest for 21 days, and start the cycle again. I've been so inspired by her courage, hope, and humbleness. She actually asked me what she did to deserve all of this and she didn't mean the cancer. She didn't understand why so many people had offered their support, meals, flowers, food, cards, etc. She claimed she was spoiled and didn't deserve all the love. Wow. If you know her then you know that she would give you anything you needed even if it meant that she went without. It's who she is. And I am humbled.

I feel like I have so much more to say, but with everything going on in my head these days I can't sort the words out. Please keep yourselves updated on Emmett's cancer battle (see the "Courage to Conquer" blog linked to the right) and I'll try and post updates on my mom's treatment and such as often as I can. Thank you for your continued support.

I Love College Hoops

It's Beat Cancer Week in college basketball. For me, this could not have come at a more appropriate time! Fans are being encouraged to wear headbands to games which I think is a hilarious way to raise awareness - very few people can pull off the headband.

You can learn more at ilovecollegehoops.com or become a fan on Facebook.

Also, Emmett (who I mentioned a few posts ago) has started a blog, Courage to Conquer. I encourage you to check it out and follow his story.

That's all for now! Go CATS!

With a joyful heart...

Mom got to go home on Sunday!

On Saturday night the nurse had mentioned that she might get to go home. No kidding, when my sister and I walked into her room Sunday morning the place was all packed up. Flowers were back in the boxes. The drawers were emptied. Everything was ready to go. My parents don't waste any time. That's for sure.

She had one goal in mind - get home in time to see her grandson. Mission accomplished. Though I was already on my way back to Nashville I'm sure it was an emotion greeting and another reminder of everything she has to fight for.

With a thankful heart...

Three weeks ago today I was sitting in a hospital room in Chicago celebrating the new life of my nephew and preparing to watch the Cats take on Vandy. Today, I'm sitting in hospital room thankful for healing, hopeful for recovery, and again preparing to watch the Cats take on Vandy.

Last time, there were tears of joy.

This time, the tears flow from the little moments that are bringing my mother to life (like being greeted by Sabrina, my older sister, for the first time since the surgery).

Last time, my sister was in the hospital bed, recovering from child birth.

This time, my mother sits in her place, recovering from a hysterectomy and cancer treatment.

Last time, during the drive from Nashville to Louisville I listened to music because I wanted to.

This time, I listened because I needed it.

Last time, the Cats were playing Vandy at Rupp Arena.

This time, the Cats are playing Vandy in Nashville.

Last time, the Cats beat Vandy 85-72.

Let's hope for a similar outcome this time.

Matt Jones of Kentucky Sports Radio recently posted about remembering certain events based upon the UK basketball memories that correspond. At the time I didn't think much of it. I had a few memories of UK games, but they didn't necessarily correspond to significant life events. Now I understand. And though I may overdo it a bit on my allegiance to Big Blue Nation, there is more to it than just basketball. And, boy, do I love my Wildcats!

This week has been about being thankful for the little things (and the big).

Here are a few things that I'm thankful for:

• Brayan. Who smiles. Not to mention the spitting up and pooping that he also blessed me with.
• Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. And the sweet ladies that bake them fresh everyday right down the hall.
• Technology. Though Lil Dude isn't able to join us at the hospital, two webcams dialed into each other allow Granny to watch her grandson sleep peacefully.
• Food. Being able to eat what I want is so taken for granted. A great reminder of that came earlier today when my mother came charging out of the bathroom (at a slow pace) announcing that not only had she passed gas, but she also had a bowel movement (that's the big news of the day and the reason the plate in front of her contains mashed potatoes, carrots, and chicken, instead of broth, jello, and a popsicle).
• Facebook. Yea, I went there. It's allowed me to stay updated on other friends and family experiencing similar heartache and also receive encouragement.
• Coffee. Lack of sleep, a snoring grandma, and uncontrollable emotions are all easily forgotten when coffee is present.
• The lady yesterday (who's name I never caught) who visited my mother (none of us knew her) and reported that she was exactly 8 years breast cancer free. To. The. Day.

With a heavy heart...

First, I'll give you a quick update on my mom. I walked in to her room this morning and she yelled, "I get to take a shower!" Her mouth was bright red from jello she had just eaten! Even now, she is snoring, which is normally annoying, but for now, I don't mind. It means she's getting good rest. Her spirits are definitely up. She is feeling much better. She'll be in the hospital a few more days (probably until Monday or Tuesday), but her body is progressing nicely from the surgery. Thanks again for all the prayers and encouragement. It has meant so much.

Second, I want to ask you to remember two other precious families. The Stallings are a sweet family in Nashville that has cooked me many a dinner and even opened their home to a friend of mine a couple summers ago. You may remember them from this blog post. Emmett is at Vanderbilt Hospital. They found a cancerous tumor on his throat and a few spots on his liver.

My cousin's father-in-law is getting a stint put in today. He has a cancerous tumor on his throat. You met my cousin and his wife here.

Since getting the call from my father on Tuesday it seems like cancer has popped up everywhere. This week's episode of Lost reminded us of Rose's cancer. The bottom line during the UK/Mississippi State game informed its viewers that Nuggets Coach George Karl had been diagnosed with throat cancer. Later there was a commercial about standing up to cancer. I read on my roommate's blog that the 13-year old she's tutoring in France lost her mother to breast cancer a year ago. Kentucky Sports Radio (my vote for best website/blog/whatever around) mentioned that Sunday kicks off "Beat Cancer Week" in college basketball. It's everywhere, but I've never noticed beyond the pink ribbons. And it's never seemed more real.

With an aching heart...

My mother is a fighter. Since her childhood she has faced one battle after another, but not one that she couldn't overcome. I expect this next chapter in her life, my family's life, to be no different. She has been diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. Not at all what we were expecting when she went in for a hysterectomy. We knew there was a chance of cancer, but the tests done weeks ago had come back negative, easing our concerns. Though the road ahead may be long and filled with bumps and potholes, I am confident in my mother's ability to fight with all she has.

My mother is an optimist. When she called over the weekend to tell me about the looming surgery she was most upset that she wouldn't be able to attend the SEC Tournament with me due to the needed recovery time and that she couldn't hold her new grandson in her arms. That was her sadness. It wasn't about herself. She had decided that if it were cancer her and her sister (who, just a few months ago, was diagnosed with breast cancer) would be chemo buddies and that would be that. She knows what's important in life and has put her faith in those things. Though the road ahead will have plenty of hills, I am confident in my mother's ability to keep her spirits up and not let setbacks get her down.

My mother is a prayer warrior. Who really knows how prayer works? Though I can't explain it I've witnessed its power. As visitors stop in and offer encouragement it's the one's who take the time to pray with her that means more than the flowers, cards, balloons, and even her favorite, angel figurines (though those are all appreciated). It means more to her, to us, and, I'm sure, to the overall healing of her body. Though the road ahead will look new and different, I know that my mother will remain a warrior who looks to Christ.

My mother is a loving wife. Grandma. Friend. Co-worker. She's gracious. Caring. Considerate. Joyful. She feels like she's inconveniencing us (which is just ridiculous), but would be the first person at our side if the roles were switched. She's stubborn (proven by her sneaking sips of water when the nurses aren't looking). Silly (proven by her telling her pastor she'd be showing up at church in her hospital robe and sitting in the front row next to him). Independent (see the red marks on my dad's hands from her slapping him away when he offers help). Beautiful (see photo above). Modest (though the male nurse who assisted with her latest bathroom trip may no agree). Most of all, she's mine - for that, I'm extremely thankful.

For those of you reading this that hadn't heard the news you can see the update from my dad below. We are confident with the doctor that she will make a full recovery. Thanks to everyone for the support and prayers. It's greatly appreciated and comforting to know that people are striving with us. Much love, Ashley.

From my dad:

Bev's surgery went through ok yesterday, but she does have stage 3c ovarian cancer. The doctor did a full hysterectomy then she took out a layer of fat over her stomach that had cancer and a portion of her colon which had cancer on the outside of it. Then she cleaned and scraped other parts that were infected. Some parts they could not take out. They put a port in her side and will treat the rice size pieces that are left with chemo through the port directly to this area. She will still have to have a regular port put in and take regular chemo treatment after that. Dr. Gordoneir is very confident that she got enough of the cancer and that the port in her side will be enough to give her a full recovery. It will be a long process. Pray. God can do anything he wants and he has a plan. She will be in the hospital for about a week if everything goes well. Norton Brownsboro Hospital room 410.